Mindfulness is Fleeting

If you choose to adopt mindfulness as a way of life know that it is not about becoming 5% happier. Know that it is a process that is far from instantaneous. It is messy and it can be painful.

Mindfulness asks you to look at You - all the versions, especially the ones you don't like.

Today I woke up and felt off; it was a sensation that in the past I would have labeled as "anxious". But I have since integrated that feeling so this was something new. It may feel novel to the system today but the roots of these sensations often go very deep. Luckily I had my meditation class today and a member shared something that hit me to the core.

It. Was. Extremely. Uncomfortable.

You'll see posts all the time about discomfort is where growth happens but it's not often that those people share exactly how ugly and awful that growth phase FEELS.
I was able to cry and release the sensation. I was also able to see one of the many roots of it:

My Ego wishes I was different.

In this moment, my Ego showed up and said "nah, you're not good enough, can we swap this out for a different model?"

Like what the actual f**k?

This. Is. Mindfulness.
So by tuning in I found this ugly, rotten root and the Ego didn't like that, so it tried to highjack me through sensation.
By sticking with this discomfort I was able to process it. It feels like a dissolving.
It was a moment in space and time.
It was fleeting.
It was mindfulness.
♥️
May you find ease after discomfort.